Which Lover are You?

Somewhere I heard the following story:

A white man goes to live and study
on a Navajo reservation in the Southwest.
While learning their songs he noted all the
different words they had for "rain" and
how frequently these words appeared
in their songs. He asked why are there
so many words for rain and why did
they sing about it so much. The Navajo
replied: There are many different forms
of rain. There are hard showers and
there are sprinkles. There is rain that
waters our crops and there is rain
that washes away the land. Because
it is dry here, rain is the most important
part of our existence. We need it to
survive. And thus we sing about it.

The Navajo continues: When I drive
my truck out to the nearest town I
listen to your radio. All I hear are
songs about love. I suppose we
both sing and listen to these songs
for the same reason.

What the Navajo observed from our popular
songs is that we live in a land dry and
thirsty for love. It is so scarce we sing
for it to come down and drench us,
much like the Navajo do with rain songs.

Being so desperate for love we
cling to anything that resembles it.
This is Need-love. It does not make
the best of us.

Here below is a list of characteristics
of Need-love vs. Appreciation-love. For
each one, the opposite is listed in the
same order.

Take a look and see how we both can
come to learn how to better serve our
partners, our relationships and
ourselves by appreciating loves
existence rather than needing it.

Characteristics of Need-Love:

* Needing and possessing
* Not being present
* Self-power is external
* Self-weakness
* Taking
* Separation
* Fear
* Conditional love
* Control
* Love one
* Relationship growth
* Pain
* Ending relationships create pain
* Loneliness
* External anger (partner not meeting my needs)
* Victim hood
* Feeling responsible for partners needs

Characteristics of Appreciation-Love:

* Appreciating
* Present awareness
* Power is within
* Object is within
* Sharing
* Integration
* Choice
* Unconditional love
* Trust
* Love many
* Personal growth
* Happiness
* Ending relationships does not create pain
* Connection regardless of distance
* Internal anger (why did I create this)
* Responsibility
* Being responsible for giving


Each is a small goal we can reflect on and work
towards together. It's a mindset. It's conscious
living.